Now that I was a man, everything was so complicated. The females that attracted me fulfilled my lust but love was a total non-starter. It was so diffi...ult to judge where lust ceased to exist and how it was possible to discover love when the importance of cock and cunt were paramount.When I was a woman, all I had to do was act friendly or in need of a big, strong man and I would soon be flat on my back trying to adjust to my partner's rhythm. As a man, it was a constant struggle to seduce a. I have been awake for at least half the night. I am writing this at the main fire after I gave up getting to sleep. I have to get some sleep though, because we are taking our wagon across tomorrow.July 6, 1847I managed to get some sleep after I borrowed some whiskey from one of the single men. I'm paying for it right now. I don't know what they put in that so-called whiskey, but I have a splitting headache, and only willow bark tea to help it with. We are the third to cross this morning and I. More

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