. I can't be around him any more. I don't trust myself with him." I trust him." Shawna told her bluntly."You should," Hope cried, turning away. "This ...orning, he... I... I could see it in his eyes. He almost thought about it — for a second. But he turned me down, flat. It hurt, Shawna, and I'll keep seeing that as long as I'm here." Hope... This has happened before. When you started the band, when you first moved in. No-one said anything, and we dealt with it and moved on. We've gotten through. She was positively beaming as she told me this. I have to admit that I felt more than a little envious that Mike had told Beth that he loved her. I knew, at least at a very superficial level, that Matt and I hadn’t been together long enough to be in love. At the deeper levels though, I desperately wanted him to love me and I wanted to love him. I’m not even sure that I didn’t already think that I was in love with him - it was so hard for me to identify my feelings and separate love from. More

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